Praying for Rossi gal

I never used to believe God would bless or help the furkids, a small part due to the influence of some cynics & a large part, due to the negative experiences I have had with His people years back. Experiences I rather forget, but they remain etched in my mind like they just occurred yesterday.

I always do my best for Rossi gal & I still do now, but I always feel that my best is not enough. I too realise that there is only so much I can do, for I am only human. I feel my own limitations. I recognise that I need a helping hand, but not of another human.

I need God's hand.

I have been praying for Rossi gal. I realise that He does care. He is unlike what some have portrayed Him to be. I dun wanna go into detail how I realised it. I sincerely pray and hope that God will always watch over & bless my precious little gal.

Her daddy, who has been a major skeptic all these years, sees God in a whole new light. He sees God & His goodness. He believes in His providence. This is a drastic 360 degrees change coming from someone who used to scorn at church & disbelieve in God.

For those who are rolling eyes & mocking me as you read this post, roll your eyes & mock me all you want. Just know that your actions are rude not only to me, but to God as well. Not that you would care, but I just wanted to let you know how rude you are. Feel free to continue in your rudeness though. No one is stopping you. :)

Just God, Darling & Me

My darling,

What more can mummy do for you?
What have I not done?
Where have I not done enough?
You are perfect in every sense, except...if only...
How I wish you get the best in every aspect.

Why do others put in minimum effort & gain more than what they deserve?
Whereas, I have put in so much effort, but my gain does not match my effort,
Life is never fair, this I know & it really sucks big time!  

Dear God,

Please look favorably upon my darling.
Please grant her what I have asked of you.
Please give her what she needs.
And...Please keep her safe, happy and healthy, always.
God, Please.

Be Myself

I just want to be myself and not what anyone else wants me to be.

I used to be very bothered about how my frens and other people think of me. Eventually, I realise that I should not be. I should be myself.

Like  what a fren recently said to me recently, if you need to Not be yourself in order for your frens to like you, these frens are not needed. This is so true. What she said, really speaks to me.

I used to have frens, who always think they are right about everything. They expected me to agree with them and do things their way for Rossi gal & some other stuff. However, they are not always right, though they like to think they are. Well, I dun need such frens too.

I have been feeling down and thinking alot lately. And as I think, I get angry at myself and those so-called frens I used to have.

I get angry with myself for trying to mould myself to their standards.
I get angry at them for trying to manipulate me.

My recent blog posts have been outbursts of anger and frustration. Hopefully, my next post will be a positive one.

Till then.

Get out of my Sight

Get out of my sight! I dun wanna be frens with selfish people.

Get out of my sight! I dun wanna be frens with self-obsessed people.

Get out of my sight! I dun wanna be frens with irritating people.

Get out of my sight! I hate people that only care about themselves.

Get out of my sight! I hate people that don't know when to stop.

Get out of my sight! I hate people that treat Rossi gal as a guinea pig.

I dun want to have anything to do with you!

Get out of my sight! Just, Get out of my sight!

Enough is Enough

I'm gonna be blunt in this post & I'm not gonna mince my words.
Enough is Enough. 

I'm pissed & I wanna vent it all out. Whether anyone likes it or not, I'm venting it straight out right here in my space.

You can close off the window now, if you dun feel comfortable reading my rants. To anyone who is on this page now, you have been fore-warned.

Rant #1

From now on, I will think twice & even thrice before I post my comments or respond to questions online. I will also be very careful when I make frens online especially on social networking sites. People I am not familiar with, I will not reveal my personal number.

I have experienced enuff to come to this. This is especially so for the personal number part, cos if one is unable to contact the source online, one can just start dialling the number. Some won't be so extreme as to contact the source via the number, but there are always exceptions, who would use the number to the best of their advantage.

Therefore, I have learnt, never ever reveal my number to individuals I'm unfamiliar with. It's dangerous.

All along, I have always been keen to post comments and respond to questions that come my way. However, I come to realise there are those who would start to take it for granted and not feel inclined to do their own research or reading up. There are also those who simply choose not to read up and expect others to spoonfeed them with information, whereby they just follow as it is.

Then in both cases, as and when they have any questions, they just bombard the source and expect answers.

I find this so irritating, so inconsiderate and so damn irresponsible. Your dog belongs to you. You should be doing the reading up, but you expect people to spend time and effort to feed u with answers. This is so damn selfish too!

It is okay to ask questions, but people should do their own reading up too. From the type of questions one ask, it would be quite evident if one has done any form of research or reading up.

Then when one asks question, one dun keep revolving around the same question by continuing to ask a series of unnecessary sub-questions, when the original question has been already been answered. This is very exasperating to the source answering the questions. It makes one wonder if a thing called 'common sense' even exists.  

Why can't these people just use google to the best of their advantage like some of us do? Why become a leech onto others?

Rant #2

My Rossi gal is not a benchmark or guideline you can use as a reference for your purposes.

Not only is it inaccurate to use her as a guide (cos every furkid is different), it is also insensitive and rude to do so. By doing so, you are being insensitive and rude to Rossi gal, her daddy and me. Me and daddy do not like our darling being used as a guide by anyone.

I'm more than happy to share about my experience with Rossi gal, but dun abuse it and use her as a guide for your own selfish purposes.

She is not your Guinea Pig. Get this into your thick skull.

Rant #3

I hate being presented with "what-if questions". What-if I never do this for Rossi gal & she gets infected? Will I blame myself for this?

I hate to answer such questions. If I answered, I'm just answering either out of goodwill or cos I see that this person won't let it go if I dun answer. If you had bothered to exercise a little sensitivity, you would have detected my unhappiness in being presented with questions as such.

When I choose not to do certain things (for eg. not giving heartworm meds), I have already equipped myself with the knowledge of the pros & cons and what's involved. I know what I'm in for. I know what I'm doing and why I'm doing what I'm doing.

Why do you need to ask such questions? Asking these questions to satisfy your curiosity or again, for your own reference or for whatever reason, is damn insensitive! Dun try to make excuses for yourself! Such insensitivity is intolerable.

There are some questions that just shouldn't be asked, especially questions like the abovementioned. Logically, No one likes to hear about what-if you dun do this and your dog gets sick? Will you blame yourself? Blah Blah. FYI, I hate such questions!  

Well, you may be the exceptional one, who is ok with such questions, but do be sensitive to others. Others may not be ok with what you are ok with. Think for others. It's not always just about you. Dun be so selfish.

Do be more sensitive and process the questions in your CPU before running them on the screen.

Rant #4

I hate the feeling of having to answer questions like I'm doing some report on problem solving, whereby I'm expected to present the causes, effects, solutions and eventually, even the recommendation (of the best solution).

It shouldn't be this way. Hate it. I'm already out of school. I'm past report-writing.

And I hate that my answers are being placed against another set of answers. It's like comparing to see who has the better answers. For goodness' sake, this is not an exam!

You may say you are not making use of me for answers Or you may say you are just asking for opinions. But whatever it is, I feel I'm being made used of. You made me feel this way.

Rant #5

In attempting to allay your own worries or anxieties, you are causing distress to me with your overflow of questions. How inconsiderate. You may not feel it, but I do.

And I find that a number of questions are really unneccessary & I dun even see the need to answer them. 

Also, questions like, when is the time to visit the vet? Or if you dun go vet, can this heal? Or what should you use for a certain condition or issue? Blah Blah.

These are not for me to answer. It is for the individual owner to determine based on their understanding of their furkid. You know your furkid best. Please assess on your own. I'm not in the position to answer you. 

And take note, you are asking someone (me), who does my best to stay far far away from the vet & who finds it a drag whenever the vet topic is being brought up. Vet questions are just not for me. You have asked the Wrong person. Find someone who is pro-vet to answer you.

And if you are so damn worried & your thoughts are treading towards the big "V", fine, just run there. Period. Dun keep asking questions circling the sickening "V". It's damn irritating, like a hovering fly that refuses to go away no matter how hard I try to swat it off.

In conclusion, 

I believe I have been more than patient with insensitive & self-centered people. Now I have been pushed to & over the limit of my patience.

My patience has been wearing thinner & thinner by the day. But because you have been so self-centered, so insensitive & so caught up with the bombardment of your questions, you fail to notice it.

Others may be fine with your style of questioning etc, but I'm Not. There are times, whereby I feel that you are not even listening to what I'm saying. You are just so intent with ur questioning, till you couldn't quite register what I'm trying to tell you.

Dun try to make excuses for your actions. I hate excuses.

Finally, I snapped. I simply snapped. Totally SNAPPED!

Are you satisfied now?

A Little Sensitivity

All I need, is a little sensitivity. 

I wish I have answers too. I wish there are people I can consult too. However, there is none.

*Unfortunately, from experience, the vet is not someone I can consult or rely on.

I do not wish to come across as being selfish, but Rossi has her own issues and I havent been able to figure out, much less, resolve. Her skin is my top most concern. Since day 1, she has skin issues & I have been managing her skin since then.

It is quite apparent to me that her skin is something I have to manage for long-term and I'm prepared for that. I have her to worry about and care for. I really can't afford to divert too much of my attention to others. I dun have the time and energy.

I must say thanks to Daddy. He has been wonderful. He has been by my side all this time, working hand in hand with me, for our darling. Without his support, I would not have been able to persevere on.

Like I have always said, Raw has helped her skin, but it is not a miracle cure as some might like to think.

It seems her skin is just this sensitive & it is just in her. Just like us humans, by default, some have oily skin and are prone to acne, while some have normal skin with few/minimal outbreaks and there are also the lucky ones with flawless skin.

As much as I wish she falls under the category of lucky ones or at least, the normal skin category, she's neither of them.

I need a little sensitivity. Spare a little thought for my feelings. If I dun even have an answer for my darling, how do I have answers for others? If I can't even resolve my darling's issues, how can I help resolve others' issues?

Whatever I do for Rossi is what I feel is best for her. When something doesnt seem to work, I will stop and move on to another way. I also do trial and error to see which ways or methods work for her. I can't say for sure what I do is definitely right too.

At times, I really dun wan & dun like to talk about or be asked about what I do and dun do for her.

Please spare me a little sensitivity. I would really appreciate it.

A Ranting Furry Post

Call it an obssession...Call it a craze.

Whenever I see pictures of furballs or live furballs appearing before me, I go crazy. I wish my Rossi gal is a furball too...but too bad, she is not.

Since young, she dun have much furs. Guess its in her genes.

On raw, her furs did grow out, but never to the extent of a lush mane.

Sigghhzzz....

Dogs on crap diets can have so much furs. (till no shirt can fit)

I give Rossi gal the best diet I could.

Why can't my Rossi gal have more furs?

Its So unfair.

I dun ask for a lion-mane sort of lushness.

Just more of it.

Is that too much to ask for???

Sighzzzz....

My Wish

All I wish for Rossi gal is, Health, Wealth and Happiness.

Health...May she stay in good health through her years.

She looks pretty ok to me now, much better than before. I do hope I'm doing fine in maintaining her health though her diet. Diet is my main focus. I believe a proper diet is vital for maintaining good health. At the same time, I'm also doing my best to provide her with a good environment and regular exercise, accompanied by lotsa love, hugs & kisses (for emotional health). I hope she will stay healthy always, both physically and emotionally.

Wealth...May she have a wealth of pretty furs.

Her furs look prettier & fuller than before. They are nice & soft to the touch too. I love running my fingers through the pretty furs on her ears, her body and her tail. I brush her furs regularly as well, in hope they will stay pretty all the time.

Happiness...May all her days be overflowing with happiness.

She is a happy gal. I feel her joy. She is my cheery sunshine in the day and my sparkling moonlight at night. I hope she will stay joyful every single day of her life.

Last, but not Least, May the years be kind to her. I hope she will stay with me for a long long time, always..and beyond.

I hope that's not too much to ask for.

Mummy's Letter to Rossi gal

Dearest Rossi gal,

Mummy is terribly sorry for all the times I raise my voice at you or smack your little bottom or both, but you don't know what you have done wrong to get this. In fact, you don't deserve this from mummy at all. Mummy should be patient with you no matter what. It's just that mummy is so tired at times from work+lack of sleep, and coupled with my short temper, mummy flares up quite easily.

There are also times when mummy do this, because I'm very worried about you. Like for example, when you continuously scratch a part of your body and mummy trys to stop you, but you could'nt stop doing so, that's when I will start to scream at you to stop. When you still continue scratching, that's when I will smack your little bottom. It's all because mummy do not want you to keep scratching, which can cause an outbreak of rashes on your skin and in turn, excerbate your skin condition.

Believe me, Mummy is full of guilt and regrets every time I raise my voice at you or smack your little bottom. Mummy have tried to hold back on my temper, at times, I managed to do so. But at times, Mummy failed to do so.

Mummy knows you are never angry with me. You will always show me your sad little face everytime I flare up. You will always shower me with many many kisses, so that mummy will not be angry with you anymore. This makes mummy even more guilty and regrets my actions even more. Daddy has also lectured mummy on my flaring up at you and on controlling my temper. Mummy quietly accept Daddy's lecture, cos I know I'm wrong.

Rossi gal, Sorry..Sorry..Sorry..for all the times mummy flared up at you. Mummy is not a good mummy during these times. You might even think that mummy do not love you during these times.

But mummy want to tell Rossi gal, mummy really love Rossi gal alot alot. Mummy is very very afraid of losing Rossi gal. Mummy worry about Rossi gal more than I worry about myself and daddy and anyone else. In Mummy's heart, my number 1 is Rossi gal.

Mummy will do my very best to be patient towards you. Mummy will do my very best to change.

Mummy is willing to spend on good food, good supplements and anything that will benefit your health. Mummy don't spend on myself like this, but for you, mummy will spend whatever $ I could on anything that can enhance your  well-being.  

Mummy rather stay home with you than go out, unless it's absolutely necessary, like going to work and buying your stuff.

Mummy chooses not to go on holidays, cos I will miss you so so much when I do not get to see you and I also do not want to leave you in the care of someone else, even if I know this someone will definitely help me take good care of you. To mummy, I am the best person taking care of you.

Some people around me (except frens who understand me) thinks I'm crazy not to go holidays cos of you, but mummy don't care. I have told them straight in the face that this is my choice, so it's none of their business. Mummy will not leave you alone here and go enjoy myself. Mummy won't enjoy myself too, knowing I left you alone here.

Anyone who mocks at you or makes any idiotic remarks towards you, Mummy will declare my stand to this person and end off any existing relations with this person. Mummy  have done so and will not hesitate to do it again.

Rossi gal..my love, my pride, my life, my world.

With lots and lots of love, hugs and kisses
from Mummy to my precious Baby, Rossi gal

My World = Rossi gal

This is my personal post, where every expression and opinion belong to me solely. If anyone has any strong opinions or disagreement against my words, it is best left unsaid and unknown, for it will neither be appreciated nor reciprocated.  

My world is Rossi gal. This might sound crazy to many and probably they are thinking I'm bonkers, so be it..But this is exactly the way it is, my world is her, just as her world is me. She is my everything, my daughter, my family, my world. Likewise to her, I am her everything, her mummy, her family, her world.

She is the first I see when I awake, the first to greet me when I'm home, the first to comfort me when I'm down and she is always the one waiting for me to be home all the time. She has every right to be my world regardless of what anyone thinks.

I can still bring myself to tolerate senseless individuals who verbally or suggestively attacks me, but I am unable to tolerate attacks of any sort at Rossi gal. Regardless of who that individual is, I will charge at this person with the vengence of a raging bull. I have to protect my Rossi gal.

In fact, I have ceased relations with some individuals because of some insensitive things they have knowingly or unknowingly said about Rossi gal. Perhaps they think they are doing a wonderfully noble deed by awakening my demented mind and prying my crazed eyes to view Rossi gal in layman terms and being what she is, she is not worth my love or attention.

To me, they themselves are the truck-load of crap. They are the ones who need to have their minds purged of filth and disgust. Their minds need a good, thorough cleansing to rid them of their nasty thoughts. I do not hesitate to break my contact with such  pompous individuals. I truly believe the world will be a better place without such personalities.

Extreme? Perhaps, Perhaps not. It's quite apparent that I am unable to condone these individuals, so I see no reason to stay in touch or even be cordial at all. Any individual who does not even give Rossi gal the basic respect in their speech or gesture is showing a huge disrespect towards me. Individuals like this have no business anywhere near me, for I want absolutely nothing to do with such people.

Way before I met Rossi gal, my hubby made me promise that when the little one we take home, cross over to the rainbow bridge one day, I must not be overly sad or affected, if not he would not allow me to take in the little one. At that point in time, I answered rationally that this was a path that every living being, including him and myself would walk on eventually. I assured him that I would take it in my stride. This was truly how I felt back then.

But I know very well now, that my promise to him holds no more. I cannot live without Rossi gal. Whenever I am reminded of the far far away future when she must walk the destined path, I will be overwhelmed with extreme sadness and heartache. It is not something I want to think about. But whenever I receive news of others losing their sweet babies, my thoughts will inadvertently drift to Rossi gal.

I secretly hope in my heart that when it's Rossi gal's time, I will cross over with her. I do not want to be left behind. I want to go where she is. Likewise, if I go first, I want to take her with me. I do not want to leave her behind too. If there is an afterlife, I want to be with her forever.

A Little Something About Me

I used to be extremely terrified of dogs, even miniature dogs like the Chi Hua Hua. Never in my wildest imagination, Never, would I ever ever think of owning a dog, because they scared the wits out of me !! I could even go weak in my knees when I could spot a dog a distance away (say a 100 metres or more) from me. When I had to go to friends' homes who had dogs, I would demand them to chain or keep their dogs away, if not, I would rather not set foot into their houses! My fear was so intense that I would choose not to go to any homes with dogs if I had a choice!

This fear in me began since I was young. At a tender age of 7, I started fearing dogs when I heard my teacher telling me in one of the lessons, that an injection would need to be administered should anyone be bitten by a dog. It was most likely the part about injection combined with the anticipated pain of the dog's sinking teeth into the flesh that greatly shaken me.(though I have never once been bitten by a dog.)

So, the question, what brought about my amazing transformation from a dog-Fearer to a dog-Lover? Read on to find out.

During the Chinese New Year, I made a resolution and it was to overcome my fear of dogs. How did I do it? My hubby had a cousin who owned a female greyish-white Schnauzer named Pepper. Every CNY, I dreaded going to visit at this cousin's house, because I was terribly scared of Pepper. I was literally perching at the edge of the chair/sofa and hanging on for my dear life everytime I was visiting there. Then the funny thing was, Pepper seemed to sense my fear and tried to inch near me at every chance she had and this set my pulse racing by the seconds! I had to scream for my hubby or his cousin to restrain Pepper like a mad woman on the loose!

For this CNY, it was different. I took several deep breaths and mustered my courage as I was walking closer to his cousin's house. My hubby was cheering me on, telling me I could definitely do it, as the dog won't bite. As I was nearing the house, I could feel the familiar weakening in my knees and it caused my strut to falter. My hubby made fun of me, saying that I was so adamant in overcoming my fear to the extent of appearing so brave, but when I actually had to do it, I went soft. At this point, I told him, no matter what I must do it, somehow.

I must admit, it was tough at first, because as usual, Pepper was at the doorstep, barking ceaselessly at me. (She can be a little too "chatty" sometimes.) I was abit hesitant to step into the house at first, but hubby gave me a nudge and I went in. Pepper was following me closely. We sat down and my hubby told me to stay still while Pepper sniffed at my feet soundly. I stood stiff like a soilder and felt Pepper's fur (+saliva) brushing at my feet. After a few minutes, Pepper turned and strolled off and for the rest of the time, she did not disturb me anymore. So that's all to it. (*Picture of Pepper is unavailable, as I didn't manage to snap a shot of her.)

The next stop, I went over to my friend's house with two Chi Hua Huas. One was a fair and fleshy male with neat short fur,named Mickey, while the other one was a brown and graceful female with fluffy long fur, named Wah Wah. These two doggies were very sweet. When I went into her house, they welcomed me with heartwarming gestures like snuggling up to me and lying on my lap. Their warmth really brightened up my day.

After this, I went on to another friend's house. She and her hubby had a male toy Poodle puppy, named Mocha. He was black in colour, with a lithe body and a cuscade of soft, naturally curled fur. Mocha was a very affectionate and energetic little doggie. The moment I went into the house, he leaped up to me and showered me with many licks of kisses. During my time there, I spent my time playing and petting him. When he got tired after the playing and running about, he would lie down with his mini paws stretched out on all fours and rest. I would take this chance to smooth my hand over his curly coat. Mocha was really fun to be around!

It dawned upon me that there was really nothing to fear with doggies afterall. They were warm and fun-loving companions. I also began to realise why so many people love dogs. At this point, my fear evaporated like vapours. I wasn't afraid of them anymore (with the exception of certain huge dogs whose size still intimidate me a little, but I could still be near them, knowing that they wouldn't hurt me).

So, this is the story of me conquering my long time fear of doggies and of course, the rest is history.

Why "Rossi"?

Why did we choose "Rossi" over all other names? In the first place, it doesn't sound exactly feminine, considering she is a female and it doesn't sound like a doggie's name either.

So, why Rossi? Actually, this name is given by my hubby. He named her after a popular and skillful MotoGP racer he admired greatly. Anyone who is a fan of MotoGP will know by now who this particular racer is. (Yes, that's right! it's HIM.)

When he proposed this name to me, I was like, okay, it's a cool name. I would also like for her to be a little "toyboyish". Besides, judging from her cute antics and hyper movements, I don't think she is exactly a docile little gal.

Therefore, this is it. Rossi will suit her just fine.

How I Met Rossi

It was “Love at First Sight”. From the moment our eyes met, I know in my heart that Rossi is the one for me.

When I first saw Rossi, she had just awakened from her afternoon nap. Her lovely tri-colored hues caught my attention. Her body is covered in flowing shades of black and white with a small patch of brown on her cute bottom, while her face is wrapped in velvet black with markings of brown on her brows and cheeks. What a pretty little girl! (By the way, she is a Papillon Pup. At this time, she is 2mths+ old. )

Then she started to notice me and turned to look at me. At this point, our eyes met and I felt an instant connection with her. Rossi has a pair of gentle and soulful eyes. I simply love her eyes. Her steady gaze followed me as I moved around her vicinity.

It was like her eyes could talk and convey her thoughts. I know this might sound far-fetched, but I could really feel her eyes telling me that she wished to come home with me.

She was not like the other puppies around that barked continuously when it was time for food. Instead, she was quietly waiting for her food and ate heartily when the food was given to her. This was another aspect that drew me even more to her. I couldn’t bear to leave the place and continued to watch her for a long time. Before I left, I silently told her in my heart, to wait for me to come back for her.

This is first time that I feel such a bond with a doggie. I also read somewhere that a doggie chooses her owner, just as much as we choose our doggie. When we have found the right doggie, we would be bonded with her from the very first meeting and we will know in our hearts that this is our doggie. After reading this, combined with the bond I felt with Rossi, I believe she is meant to be my doggie.

When I told my hubby about this, as expected, he dismissed it as a wishful part of my thinking and commented that I think too much. At the same time, he was hoping to open up our options to look around for other doggies before we decide on which one to get.

Well, despite what he might think, I trust my intuition. I was also not that keen to look at other doggies, as I could not get Rossi and her expressive eyes out of my mind. For the next few days, I began to bug him endlessly about Rossi. Slowly, his thoughts began to come around and he relented, saying that Rossi might just be the one. Perhaps my bugging worked its magic. (Or was it Rossi who somehow wormed her way into his heart?)